Letters For Juliet

Hello my dear friend
It’s been a year or two
Or five or ten
Those things you said to me
They left a cut
So broad and deep

Did you find out who you are?
It’s not right
All your problems left behind
No, they’re not mine
And now it’s over

Inside we all remain the same
Not alone yet somehow far away
Had enough you cannot save yourself
Run away, repeat with someone else

And I was made for you
And you for me
And I for you

Lost in time and time again
Locked away the things
That hurt so bad back then
Letters for my Juliet
Weather this and
I’ll help you soon forget

All those things you said to me
They’re not right
Traded pleasure  for your pride
It hurts inside
And now you’re sober

Inside we all remain the same
Not alone yet somehow far away
Had enough you cannot save yourself
Run away, repeat with someone else

And I wanted
Yeah I needed you
But you’ve given my love away
To the hate in you
The pain in you
You lost my respect that day

And I see you
And I feel you
Coming down my way
I loathe you
But I need you
To gain my respect some way

Inside we all remain the same
Not alone yet somehow far away
Had enough you cannot save yourself
Run away repeat with someone else

Writing is said to be a journey. According to Nissan, life is also a journey and we must enjoy the ride. It’s not so much about where you are going but how you get there. If this is true, then my journey is certainly not over but I have done my best to enjoy the ride. I really feel that’s the thrill of it all. Enjoy your writing and don’t worry so much about where it will lead you. My journey started long ago.

The first memories I have of writing are when I was around 7 years old. I was fascinated with fighter jets and movies like “Top Gun” and “Iron Eagle” and wanted to write my own. I came up with

various scenes that I pictured and put them to paper. None of these were ever finished but I enjoyed the process and hoped that someday I would have an epiphany and write the most amazing screenplay ever.

Needless to say, it didn’t happen but it started the process of writing for me. I was always bored with “Bob plays with his dog” and “Spot sat down.”

The next couple of years continued to develop more interesting screenplays and some various short stories but nothing great to speak of. Soon enough, along came fourth grade. The time spent in Mr. Skinner’s class was the defining time period in my development as a writer. It was an experimental class designed for 4th and 5th graders to be in the same class, allowing those 4th graders that were capable of forging ahead in their development to do so.

At the beginning of each day, we had a block of time designated for writing short stories, followed by a period of time to share them with the class. At the 4th and 5th grade level, these were

usually one or two page stories about the princess who gets saved or the famous Spiderman thwarting criminals and other typical concoctions of the child’s imagination. Mine, however, were just a little bit

different.  Usually my process involved writing about current events, though I wouldn’t choose the boring ones like the new monument being displayed by the capitol. I would choose ones that interested me

as a GI-Joe loving boy. There was perhaps a little embellishing that went on, but they were all based on stories I saw on the news.

I remember one particular story that really changed the direction I went in as a writer. I had seen a news clip about a man who had been driving under the influence of alcohol and other drugs. He

had been involved in a police chase and was armed with a firearm. I won’t go into too much detail but he opened fire on some of the officers, killing some and wounding others. He was eventually gunned

down. My story was very graphic and was embellished for interest. It was my turn to share my story with the class. Later that day, my mother appeared in my classroom and I got to sit while she talked to

my teacher about some things and I got a scolding for writing such things.

The next time it was time to write, I decided I wasn’t going to share my stories anymore. I decided that I would write a very long story and if I was asked to call upon to share it, I would just

reply that it is not yet finished. As long as I was writing during the times I was supposed to, I wasn’t required to have a finished product to share. I started weaving a tapestry that would affect my status as

a writer forever.

I wasn’t called upon to read for the next few days but, sure enough, several days thereafter, it was my turn to share my story. As I wasn’t finished, I wasn’t required to share it. My story was entitled

The Adventures of Tracy the Pirate. I know it’s not the greatest or most creative title but for a 4th grader, I guess it wasn’t too bad. The story ended up being well over 200 pages long.

It started to keep me out of trouble but, as it developed, I started to enjoy writing it. I couldn’t wait to see what creative twist I could come up with next. It was so amazing to watch this creation of

mine come to life. I could see the characters developing their own personalities. It was great!

The story was set in the 1500s and the basic plot was about the life of a man, named Tracy, who grew up in a broken home in a port town in southern France. His father was a drunkard and a pirate

that had abandoned Tracy and his mother at a young age. Things were very tight financially and, eventually, Tracy left home at age 15 with aspirations to become a sailor and provide better for his

mother.

He joined the crew of a ship and eventually worked his way to a captain with the company. At some point, he was overtaken by pirates and with his charm was able to convince them to spare him

and he would join them as a captain of a second ship. With most of his crew dead, Tracy turned to a seedy port and acquired the services of able-bodied men with no aversion to piracy. Tracy had much

success and soon became a feared pirate. He eventually betrayed his friends and gained full control of the piracy operation.

Throughout the novel, he was plagued with guilt, remorse, and a desire to do the right thing. Several times he attempted to go straight but the allure of piracy was always there in his face and he

would return to it time and again. He stashed his plunders on an island similar to that of the Isle de Muerta in “Pirates of the Carribean”, only this was a decade prior to that film. The basic principal was

that you couldn’t find it unless you knew how to find it already.

At the end of the novel, I was so enthralled in the writing process that I almost didn’t want to finish. It gave me much pleasure to do the actual writing and I didn’t want to stop to allow anyone to

read it. Hence, in the end, there was a terrible battle and it was left up to the reader to decide whether or not Tracy had been killed or if he survived, allowing for a sequel if I so chose to write one.

I at one time had a sequel about 40% complete, however, I eventually decided that the original content of the first book was best left by itself. The sequel was consequently scrapped. Unfortunately,

I have since lost the manuscript to the original novel, but I do remember the process of writing it and I keep it with me to this day.

That book has forever shaped my life as a writer, not because of the content, but because of the priceless things I learned while writing it. I learned much about keeping the reader’s attention. Perhaps

most importantly, I learned how to let the creative sub-conscious just take over and pour ideas onto the paper without thought. It didn’t matter where the story went so long as it was something I was pleased
with in the end and got the point across that Tracy had many adventures.

I have since written many stories, essays, term papers, letters, songs, and other useful things but I can trace them all back to the period of time that I spent writing my first novel in 4th grade. The

process of writing it is what it all traces back to. The book doesn’t matter. It was just the destination of that particular journey. The true gem or diamond in the rough was found within the writing process,

that ride that started out as a shield but that I later learned to enjoy so much. That’s what the journey is all about and I’m who I am today because of it.

It’s noon on a Tuesday
And you’re nowhere in sight
What happened to forever?
It crashed on that night
It’s been two weeks
Since I last used
My hands are shaking
And my heart is pounding so loud

Now I know when I’m sober
I can be the man you want me to be
The problem is I never get there
Ain’t nobody as established as me
I know it’s hard when I’m not around
And you’re facing all the demons
That have gotten you down
I inhale and I exhale
Just facing all the problems of that day

It’s alright, yeah it’s okay
The problems that I’m facing here today
They’ll be there when I wake up
Just give them a moment
They’ll be lost in an evening
The bottle’s not worth it
I’ve lost all my feeling

Now I know when I’m sober
I can be the man you want me to be
The problem is I never get there
Ain’t nobody as established as me
I know it’s hard when you’re not around
And I’m facing all the demons
That have gotten me down
I inhale and I exhale
Just facing all the problems of that day

It’s been a long time
Since this all went away
But somehow through the lies
I see you shining down on me
But did you have to go this far
To fall right down?
It seems there’s just no need

But seventeen hours from the day
That you walked away from me…

All these times
And Memories
Baby you will see
It’s so hard to be alone
All alone

It’s been a year or two
But I still see your face
Did I ever know how hard
You’d be for me to reach?
Somehow you fall before
I reach that space
Where you were meant for me

And seventeen hours from the day
That you walked away from me…

All these times
And memories
Baby you will see
It’s so hard to be alone
All alone

If I had opened up my eyes
I’d see things you have done to me
I only asked you to try
And you took away my life for him
I see you want me
I see you need me
But you’re too damn scared to try

So seventeen hours from the day
That you walked away from me….

All these times
And memories
Baby you will see
It’s so hard to be alone
All alone

Today’s another day
And tomorrow’s overhead
I’m alone and you’re with me
Just counting the days till you’re back

I’m right today
And I’m fine you say
Won’t you come back home?

Tonight, tonight
On a Saturday night
I’m not fine, it’s alright
Today, today
On a sunday in May
And I don’t have to be alone anymore

I’m watching my life
And waiting for a sign
I wanted my time
To prove to you I’m right

Underneath your breath
Were you singing with someone else?
Don’t give up on me yet
Try your best to stay close

I’m right today
And I’m fine you say
Won’t you come back home?

Tonight, tonight
On a Saturday night
I’m not fine, it’s alright
Today, today
On a sunday in May
And I don’t have to be alone anymore

I’m watching my life
And waiting for a sign
I wanted my time
To prove to you I’m right

Don’t give up on me
Will you ever see?
I’ve done all I can and I
I fall to the ground
I fall without a sound

Tonight, tonight
On a Saturday night
I’m not fine, it’s alright
Today, today
On a sunday in May
And I don’t have to be alone anymore

I’m watching my life
And waiting for a sign
I wanted my time
To prove to you I’m right

*There’s a good bit of ad-libbing in the end and in the bridge that doesn’t really write-out well but there you have it.